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Bark Tank: Dip Stuffed Chips

When a slow news day hits, you can either hide in fear or bring some content to the table. That’s exactly what I’m doing with our first segment. Welcome to the Bark Tank.

Disclaimer: I am way too lazy to trademark an idea or Google how to file a patent. If you steal this Bark Tank idea, please cut me in on the profit and shout out Bet The Dog when it inevitably becomes a billion dollar company.

“How fucking stupid do you have to be to start a sports and gambling blog when there are no sports to gamble on?” This is the question I have been asking myself while on the 8th page of Google, trying to find a topic worth writing a blog about. I felt so unbelievably stupid, right up until I had my first highdea in a long, long time. Rather than writing about women’s Ukrainian table tennis, I’d like to welcome you to the Bark Tank’s first idea.

 A pre-dipped chip. I had a massive craving for cheddar and sour cream chips with a french onion or ranch dip. Then I thought, “Nah, I’m good, who has the time to dip? It’s a whole extra element of work that I’m unwilling to do.” Then, my brain started working in 3-D.

Dip Stuffed Chip v.1

Bad representation but you get the point. One thick chip, with a dip filled center. Biggest chip innovation since fucking nachos honestly. How do we do it, Jaws? Wouldn’t we need a molecular syringe filled with dip? How can Lays inject a thin layer into one chip? Easy fucking money. 

  • Place chip down.
  • Apply think layer of dip to the surface of the chip.
  • Close this dip covered chip with ANOTHER CHIP.
  • SEAL THE EDGES. DONEZO

I mean, you are doing away with the work and struggle of dipping every fucking chip. You are also doing away with the $6 purchase. And most importantly, you are doing away with the all-too-real struggle of “too much dip for one bag, not enough for two”. How many times have you been caking on way too much dip when you see you have a chip level of 15%? Or when you have a dip level of 8% but a chip level of 30% and then you’re rationing your dip like it’s the fucking Great Depression?

I don’t think we even need to stop there. This company has the potential to innovate the chip game with this new, patented technology. Picture this: It’s Sunday, the night game is about to kick-off. You’re on your couch, deleting chips into the vacuum that is your mouth. Then an ad comes on.

“You fell in love with the dip stuffed chip. Then you started jacking off to the double stuffed chip. Now, get ready to cum ropes with: ‘The Sweet Stuffed Chip’. The sweet and salty goodness of our tasty chips, filled with a light layer of rich Nutella. Available everywhere chips are.”

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